My Very First Blog....

I am not sure how to go about this, as this is the first blog I have ever created.  Facebook?  Yes, had one...deleted it.  Myspace?  Yes, deleted it.  Tumblr?  No.  My kids forbid me.  :-)

I guess the purpose for setting up this account is to merely express my daily thoughts, feelings, fears, and the journey I am about to embark upon with the Lord - or shall I say, He has always been there with me...and only just recently, have I had the blessed opportunity to experience His Grace and want to express it through journaling (or in this case - blogging).

I have never really experienced God's Grace until I was able to sit back and allow Him to do His work and speak to me through a pastor at my church.  My life, left to my own understanding and will, has lead me to nothing but torment, anquish, and a very broken heart.  Not to mention the torment, anquish, and broken hearts of my family.  Surrender???  What's that?  I've tried to surrender many times, but never really quite new what it was like to do so.  "Yes, Lord.  I will surrender and leave it in your hands," is what I often would say to Him in years past.  Was I sincere?  I thought I was.

I truly believe that He places people and circumstances in our lives in His attempts to guide us and allow us to fully comprehend His love for us.  I did not comprehend His love for me, until I was at my lowest of low...rock bottom...the edges of the unthinkable. 

Today, I am fortunate and blessed to have found His loving, awe-inspiring Grace.  It is a daily struggle to live with my guilt and the hurt I have caused my husband of 19 years and three beautiful children (19f, 17m, 15f).  I never want them to have to experience that pain I have caused them...ever!  I have given my life to the Lord, and know that He will be there to lift me up when I need it most and hear my prayers of forgiveness to my family and most of all Him.  For He is a Merciful, Loving, and Forgiving God.

~I am truly blessed.